Festival season awaits us, crouching in a musky portaloo just around the corner. Soon we’ll all be able to vacate our dusty urban cages and hop on the mildly grotty Megabus to fields, freedom and scatty NOS vendors. In the spirit of freedom, it’s high time that some rules were laid down regarding the many useless items that most ‘festival veterans’ insist on taking with them. Because no, it’s not clever, or wise, to drag these useless ‘essentials’ through the muddy bogs of Blighty all season. As you’ll soon discover, festivaling minus the baggage will make you feel so liberated you’ll think you’d just kicked down the Berlin Wall.